By Beth @Beth_Tastic

So I’m sat here at crazy o’clock in the morning trying to get my brain to calm down and shut down enough for sleep 😴 but so far it’s just not happening 😑 I had hoped after today I would be able to relax a bit but sadly my brain is overloaded and still playing catch up I think. 

This past few weeks have been a bit more stressful than our usual run of the mill dramas – if you’re a parent or a parent carer you will likely know the ones I mean and be sat there nodding along at this part. As so often we do I put off having a health check on something that niggled at me for “when I have the time / when there isn’t so much going on with the kids” 🙈 then the more I googled the more I was reminded some things you must never put off.

Last week I attended my GP’s surgery (called at 8am and was seen at 10.30 how is that for efficiency 🙌) I had a bit of an issue with a new feeling of discomfort and tenderness in my left breast and obviously my mind jumped straight to panic mode and cancer! Thankfully my GP has a very low threshold to trigger a breast clinic referral and after an examination in the surgery sent off a referral to just be thorough. 

As much as I was super grateful for the promise of a speedy referral this also ramped up my anxiety in terms of “what if …” as a parent and more so as a parent carer my thoughts quickly went to how will I manage with all the kids appointments and things that I micro manage on a daily basis, how will they cope with me potentially being poorly and not “the same mum” and inevitably how would my children manage without me? 😞 this is the kind of thing before you’re experiencing it for yourself you always think you’ll talk through with family / friends but the reality is I didn’t want to burden them with my thoughts for one and for another I couldn’t deal with managing my own emotions while I stressed about it all so I knew voicing these worries to those closest to me would make my stress levels worse. 

Who could I turn to as a carer? Who could I speak to that would help to rationalise my thought process instead of escalating my emotional load? Well as I have in the past I turned to Links4Alliance, a great local support service my family have used many times in the last few years when we’ve needed some information / advice relating to my children’s SEND. The consultant I spoke to totally understood that I didn’t need a heart to heart moment or just to offload to someone right now I needed practicalities, I needed to feel like I had covered all my bases. They helped me put together an “emergency pack” for each of my children. Simple things like lists of contact numbers for family & professionals involved / health conditions / medications /support needs/triggers etc. It might not sound like much to some reading this but it’s very much a case of “if you know you know” with this kind of thing as these packs allowed me the freedom to just breathe for a minute – know that I’ve covered all angles even if I wasn’t (hopefully) going to need them. In hindsight it’s something I wish I had done a long time ago. 

Anyway less than a week later from the GP appointment and I am in the breast clinic ready (ish) for whatever tests they decided I needed. I don’t mind admitting I was a nervous wreck by this point 😳 I had driven myself way past half crazy by hitting up “Dr Google” as you do 🙄😩 (even though we all know we shouldn’t!🤦🏻‍♀️) and I was convinced I was halfway to the worst possible outcome! 

I have to say considering I had my boobs out in front of so many random strangers (albeit medical professionals!) I wasn’t in the least bit embarrassed or uncomfortable during any of the examinations or tests. The staff were amazing from start to finish, reassuring me, supporting me & really listening to everything I had to say (trust me when you’re the only one in a room of people that has their boobs out you REALLY want to feel like they are paying attention to what you’re saying! 😬😝)

Every step, every process, every test was explained and walked through and even though I was massively anxious about having a mammogram for the first time after reading horror stories (yup you guessed it on good old Google again 😬🤣) I was shocked it was so quick and easy in the end up! The radiographer took me through everything and kept checking I was comfortable (& not totally freaking out as I’m sure my face was saying when my mouth wasn’t 😳) it was over before I knew it and while it wasn’t the most comfortable minutes of my life it wasn’t painful which was one of my biggest worries considering I was tender to start with 😕.

What I found really helpful was the fact it went straight to another member of staff for immediate reporting so there was no stressy anxiety inducing hanging around or waiting to get the results. 

I got the best news that my tests were absolutely clear and that actually the symptoms I had been experiencing were most likely related to one of my auto immune conditions and hormone fluctuations! I don’t recall a time before that I’ve felt such relief ❤️

The whole experience has really made me reflect on how lucky we are to have such an amazingly accessible service with the NHS! 1 week from first appointment to testing, diagnosis and discharge is something I never thought I would see! It really shows how some services are so well managed and run by the staff on the ground and they are getting it right for those patients that need seen urgently – even in the midst of a pandemic! 

I’m very grateful for yesterday’s appointment and even more so for the outcome. I wanted to share my experience because some people might be putting off raising a niggle or a worry in fear that it will be painful / impersonal / embarrassing etc but trust me when I say the worry and anxiety about these things is far, far worse than the reality. So check your boobs, make the appointment, get checked – it’s so much better to be safe than sorry 💗